Consistency: Watch What Repeats

The most common dating mistake isn't picking someone bad. It's reading a spike of intensity — three brilliant days, one profoundly honest conversation — as evidence of a pattern that hasn't happened yet.

What to watch

• Do plans they make actually happen, without you managing them?
• Is their warmth stable across their moods, or does it vanish when they're stressed?
• After a conflict, does behavior change or only the apology?
• Does the effort continue once you're clearly interested?

Give it time on purpose

Consistency has a minimum observation window. You cannot see it in two weeks, no matter how good the two weeks were. Deciding in advance that you'll wait for a few ordinary weeks — not just exciting ones — is one of the highest-leverage choices in dating.

Also true of you

Consistency isn't only a screen. It's a standard you're being measured against too, usually fairly. Reliable beats impressive over any horizon that matters.

Next principle: Character. Back to the framework. Related: signs you're ready for a healthy relationship.